We Sing, We dance, We play!

Avery, like most 3 1/2 yr. olds, loves to play. It's one of the first things she asks me when she wakes up, besides "Can I have some Milk". She likes to play "little People", doctor, cafe(a personal fav), fairies, you be the daddy or the baby...or the mommy(which is confusing lol). All day long...Do you wanna play? Mommy, you wanna play...Come'on Naoj..let's play! Rick and I have created our "Little People" characters... He is Juan De La Handsome. A strong rugged ladies man with a spanish accent, and everything ends with..because I am Juan..Juan De La Handsome. Sometimes I have to warn him on content(Men!) I am Maggie Apple Bottom Pink Tree, why? I don't know it just came out one day and it stuck. Maggie is a friend to all and pretty boring compared to Juan...but Avery gets a kick out of it! I try and play at least 1-2 times a day, but most the time I say no or "let me finish this". I honestly don't enjoy playing. I never wanted to admit that, I kept that a secret for a long time, I had a lot of guilt about it. That was until I went to one of my 'power of moms' meetings and someone said it! She actually spoke on it, out loud and it was the most comforting and reviving moments I've had throughout this journey(Motherhood).

 I'm not alone, I'm not cruel or selfish, I'm not a bad mother, I'm human. And there are other mothers who are not playing with their children. It's so easy to imagine while your surfing the internet and your child wants to play that there is a mom out there at that moment reading, teaching, playing, or taking her kids to the park. Everything you are not doing, there is a mom out there being Super Mom and you suck! But you know what, after picking up endless toys, and laundry and dishes and beds that need to be made, phone calls placed, the last thing I wanna do is play.. and think. When all is said and done I really wanna just sit down(or hide in the back of the closet) and have some quiet time. I remember asking my mom to play Barbies with me, and when I recall my childhood...I don't really remember her playing with me. I used to think, who doesn't wanna play barbies? I didn't get it! As I grew up I thought, I'm gonna play with my kids, I'm gonna play Barbies for hours and have cool story lines, and I'm gonna... Yeah Right.. Okay!...now I get it!

I was an only child and my mom didn't always play with me...and I'm fine. As will she... and Hey! she's got Berkely and in just a minute she's gonna have a full time playmate! Who's super excited about that?!(Armed raised)

What I took away from that 'power of moms' meeting was, If playing is not my forte find another activity that we both enjoy. So we play with playdough, sing songs for Berkely, draw pictures, make cookies, but most of all we love to Dance! I put on her pandora station, filled with Raffi, The Laurie Berkner Band, and all things Disney, and we get our groove on! I hold her, and dip her, and spin her around and I'll go as far as saying she loves that way more than when we play. Do it again Mommy! She'll say with a big'ol smile on her face! It's actually a two for one when you think about it...We bond and I sweat! BooYaa!!

A disclaimer...

After the last post, I felt as though I should put a disclaimer out there. This blog is not for the faint or week of heart. I tell it like I see it and I see it how I say it! I'm just saying what most are thinking! Do I love my children? you bet your ass! Would I do anything to hurt them? Absolutely Not! They are my world and I can't imagine my life without them...well I can but for this blog sake..I can't! What I do recognize is the blurred line between "mommy" be it good or bad and the woman doesn't have her "village" and drowns her kids in the tub. There is a fine line.. and anybody who says it's not, is lying to herself. We have ALL had those moments and the difference lies in the actions. When desperate, sleep deprived, in need of some "me" time, and a conversation that doesn't involve; how old is she? how much does she weigh? why she isn't eating, and what triggers a tantrum... you'd be surprised what you are capable of. Motherhood is a funny fickle thing. It's the most wonderful gift you could ask for and at 3AM and 2 hours of screaming it's the worst curse you can imagine.

I'm saying I love my children as much as the next woman...but I can be honest and say I wanted to shake that lil' shit(aka my sweet little fatness girl) the other night..I didn't!.. but oooohhh man anything to make it stop and get some sleep.

 Mama needs an all expense paid day at the spa.. seriously! Any takers?!

If I didn't laugh...I'd cry!(Go the Fuck to Sleep)

So as many of you know we are sleep training...still..kinda. I can come up with every excuse in the book, but it wouldn't matter because at the end of the day, she's still not sleeping through the night. If you are looking for a woman who can easily put her children's issues aside for the sake of an end result...you've got the wrong mama! Berkely is cutting 6..count 'em up.. 6 teeth all at once!! Ouch! I cannot.. I repeat Cannot just let her "Cry It Out" or CIO for those of you who are book and web savvy. I don't have the gene that says your baby is fine, she's playing you, let her figure it out! I'm her mommy, her protector, her warrior, and I can't abandon her in time of need. She's hurting and wants to be close...I can't deny her?! Do you hear my desperation, because seriously I'm desperate! Last night was AWFUL!!! like finally said Fuck It, came into the living room 4:30AM Awful! She couldn't get comfortable, I couldn't get comfortable and I was near shaken baby syndrome when I had a reality check, put her in her crib before it gets outta hand. So I told Rick if he wants to get any sleep, he better sleep on the couch! So... New plan, give her some medicine for the pain and we are gonna sleep on a pallet in the living room. Her seeing us in the room is not working anymore! My friend sent this book to me and I laughed out loud! Because Lord knows if I didn't laugh I would be in a full on melt down about now!

http://www.issuu.com/heidiaustinjones/docs/gotheftsbook (to get closer: open book and it's top left)

One Hand Wonder

You'd be surprised how much you can do one handed...

I can..

Cook a meal
Go to the bathroom... in a public restroom(skills)
Make my bed
Do Laundry
Sign a document
Help Avery get dressed
Help Avery in the bathroom
Push a stroller
Grocery shop
Give a hand job.. LOL Just kidding(well not really) but come-on, You left yourself wide open!!

I feel like that guy in M. Night Shayamalan's 'Lady in the Water'... Super buff on one side.
I've got a killer left arm!  too bad I'm right handed cause I could probably sock the shit outta someone!!

I'm always surprised at what I'm capable of in time of need, every time I think, How the F* am I gonna get this done with a baby attached to me. It takes me a little longer but it gets done. I Definitely have that "I am woman hear me roar" feel afterwards!

A couple weeks ago I was asked to set up my Uptown Baby Boutique for an event. I went to storage got the stuff out of the storage unit, dragged the boxes to the truck, unloaded the truck to reload the truck. All the meanwhile the girls were worn out from an all day Zoo trip. There was crying, screaming, and exhaustion all around. I won't get into the whole story but I will say, I left the house about 6pm after the glass jar of minced garlic hit the kitchen floor. I needed a minute, to say the least.

So the following day I had this event to attend and Rick was gonna come home early to take over the girls. Before you knew it, it was 4:00. He couldn't leave work and I needed to go...so I loaded the boxes on top of each other, I had the backpack on, the ergo carrier on the front and was pulling the 4 clear storage tubs to the elevator. Luckily as I was coming out of the main entrance these women saw me and were like,"Do you need help?" ummmmm....Kinda?! I mean come on!!! YES!! I need help!( I didn't say that, I was my sweet "if you don't mind" self) So..they helped me to the truck, and I loaded the girls in, then unloaded the back to reload the back and was on the road to Campbell(about 30 min away). The whole drive there I thought...What am I gonna do with the kids? Can I pull this off? should I just turn around? My head was running a mile a minute. I was in a full sweat and the work hadn't even really began.

So to make a long story short, I decided to stick it out and set up this table one handed(mostly). Avery was AMAZING!!! she sat in this chair next to the table and ate her food and did her thing and I didn't really have to parent her. Berkely slept and nursed and crawled around a little. And I have the most well behaved AMAZING children EVER! The work was well worth it, People were commending me for even attempting this with two kids and it felt so good. It showed me that I was capable, my children were capable, and this was the stuff successful women were made of...now if I could just have that drive when it came to maintaining my house, I would be unstoppable!!

still... I AM WOMAN HEAR ME ROARRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!( with my one buff arm!)